Whether you decide to actually meet your Perfect Match, go out with your significant other or stay in for a night of Netflix with friends, Valentine’s Day can be an opportunity to appreciate the bonds and love we have for each other as humans.
But the bonds we’ve formed over the course of our lives don’t just start with us — human bonding is as old as humanity itself.
“We’re social animals because we need other people to survive,” said Prof. Vivian Zayas, psychology.
According to Zayas, human bonding is an outcome of evolution.
“If a behavior is adaptive, one way of ensuring that that behavior occurs is that it’s rewarding,” Zayas said. “It’s important for us to eat, so eating is pleasurable. It’s important to procreate, so sex is pleasurable. It’s important to maintain these relationships, so interactions are pleasurable.”
But it’s not just pleasure that pushes us to form bonds — it’s biology. Individual life begins in utero, living in relation to its mother, according to Zayas. This biological relationship carries over to infancy, as infants look to form secure attachments with their caregivers.
Human bonding is, as a result, deeply rooted in an individual’s development, and forming secure attachments early on can have lasting impacts throughout one’s life.
After developing a relationship with primary caregivers, it’s an important milestone to learn to have a relationship with peers. As people grow, the “attachment system” will transfer again from peers to romantic partners, Zayas said.
Whether or not one forms close bonds with peers can also have consequences on mental health.
“Part of self-esteem is not just how you view yourself in the abstract, but how you think other people value you.” Zayas said. “If you do not feel valued by your peers, that undermines feelings of self-worth.”
However, although the quality of some bonds differ, everyone forms them.
“Most people form these bonds because they do grow up with someone who takes care of them,” Zayas said. “They are very extreme conditions [where people don’t form that bond],”.
This predisposition to form bonds also manifests within groups, through synchronous body movements, autonomic responses or emotional reactions that can spread among individuals in a group setting.
For example, applause in concert halls can unintentionally become rhythmically coordinated, and choir members unconsciously exhibit breathing synchrony while singing together even without the explicit awareness of who’s involved — or that this phenomenon is even occurring.
“We are wired to be social and be attuned to another person.” Zayas said. “These types of activities then lead us to be more cooperative, more prosocial, and the assumption is that has some benefits.”
When looking to form bonds — whether platonic or romantic — we are drawn towards some people and not others. How similar and familiar you are with someone has a big impact on how you view them according to Zayas. Close proximity can be a predictor of attractiveness.
“People are more likely to find their partner at Cornell, because you’re at Cornell,” Zayas said.
So, this Valentine’s Day, understand the totality of all the bonds that you have developed over the course of your life — not just your romantic connections.
“The simplest way of viewing it is — having relationships is like gravity. We are born to be connected with other people,” Zayas said.
FAQs
Positive social interaction is associated with increased oxytocin. This leads to bonding, which is also associated with higher levels of oxytocin and vasopressin, and reduced stress and stress-related hormones. Oxytocin is associated with higher levels of trust in laboratory studies on humans.
What is the science behind human bonding? ›
Oxytocin and dopamine interact to link the neural representation of partner stimuli with the social reward of courtship and mating to create a nurturing bond between individuals. Vasopressin facilitates mate-guarding behaviors, potentially related to the human experience of jealousy.
What is the strongest bond between humans? ›
You understand each other's emotions better than anybody else. Our moms have been there for everything from watching us take our first steps to helping us transition into womanhood and motherhood ourselves.
What causes bonding in humans? ›
A significant amount of research in animal models as well as in humans suggests that oxytocin (OT) plays an important role in the development of the capacity to form social bonds, the mediation of the positive aspects of early-life nurturing on adult bonding capacity, and the maintenance of social bonding.
What is the chemical for human bonding? ›
There's a biological explanation for the warm emotions you feel when you're physically close to a loved one: It's the hormone oxytocin.
What is the human bonding theory? ›
Positive social interaction is associated with increased oxytocin. This leads to bonding, which is also associated with higher levels of oxytocin and vasopressin, and reduced stress and stress-related hormones. Oxytocin is associated with higher levels of trust in laboratory studies on humans.
What bonds a man to a woman? ›
During sexual intercourse, in the female brain there are more receptors for oxytocin, and in the male brain there are more receptors for vasopressin. Both hormones cause the person to feel emotionally attached to the other, even with just one act of intercourse.
What is the weakest bond in the human body? ›
Hydrogen bonds
This interaction is called a hydrogen bond. Hydrogen bonds are common, and water molecules in particular form lots of them. Individual hydrogen bonds are weak and easily broken, but many hydrogen bonds together can be very strong.
Which is the weakest bond? ›
Complete step by step answer:
The Hydrogen bonds are the weakest as they aren't really bonds but just forces of attraction to the dipoles. On a hydrogen atom which are permanent and bonded to two atoms which are highly electronegative in nature.
What is the hardest bond in the body? ›
Therefore, the order from strongest to weakest bond is Ionic bond > Covalent bond > Hydrogen bond > Vander Waals interaction.
Vasopressin is stimulated by stress, a man having to solve a problem (that isn't you) either to get physically intimate with you (so withholding increases it), to solve challenges in his life, or work through team problems together in a complementary way. #fyp #viral #love #datingadvice #relationship.
How to release oxytocin in a man? ›
Just the simple act of touch seems boost oxytocin release. Giving someone a massage, cuddling, making love, or giving someone a hug leads to higher levels of this hormone and a greater sense of well-being. Oxytocin is just one of the four feel-good hormones.
What is the happy hormone in the human body? ›
Dopamine: Known as the “feel-good” hormone, dopamine is a neurotransmitter that's an important part of your brain's reward system. It's associated with pleasurable sensations, along with learning, memory, and more.
What is love scientifically? ›
Love happens less in the heart and more in the brain, where hormonal releases and brain chemicals are triggered. Dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin are some of the key neurotransmitters that help you feel pleasure and satisfaction. So, your body often approaches love as a cycle.
How do you know you are chemically bonded to someone? ›
When you're chemically bonded to your partner, you'll be intoxicated by their natural scent. According to Phillips, these are pheromones, which draw you into your partner's presence. It's what helps you attract each other in the first place.
What chemically happens when you fall in love? ›
Being love-struck also releases high levels of dopamine, a chemical that “gets the reward system going,” said Olds. Dopamine activates the reward circuit, helping to make love a pleasurable experience similar to the euphoria associated with use of cocaine or alcohol.
What is the science behind human connection? ›
Our brains and bodies are wired for empathy, cooperation, generosity, and connection. Humans are social creatures with a propensity to connect with others and to form relationships. Our relationships can be sources of fun, gratification, peace, well-being, obsession, love, pain, and grief.
What is the bonding theory? ›
Valence Bond theory describes covalent bond formation as well as the electronic structure of molecules. The theory assumes that electrons occupy atomic orbitals of individual atoms within a molecule, and that the electrons of one atom are attracted to the nucleus of another atom.
What is the reason behind bonding? ›
Why form chemical bonds? The basic answer is that atoms are trying to reach the most stable (lowest-energy) state that they can. Many atoms become stable when their valence shell is filled with electrons or when they satisfy the octet rule (by having eight valence electrons).
Is being chemically bonded real? ›
Although it may sound a little strange, you can be chemically bonded to their partner. As licensed psychologist Danielle Forshee, PsyD previously told Bustle, love is extremely tricky to define and measure due to how subjective it is.
