Chapter Text
CHAPTER THREE
trust
Lucy woke up to Cooper’s shadow standing over her, the outline of his hat rimmed by golden light. “Rise and shine, sweetie. The sun’s up and you’ve got caps to earn.”
She groaned and turned away from him. Her mouth was bone-dry and her skull felt like it was being cleaved in two. After all that time passed out while she was sick, last night’s sleep was restless at best, plagued by strange dreams she could only remember bits and pieces of now. Cooper had slept on the floor with his back leaned against the foot of the bed. He hadn’t made a sound all night; she wasn’t sure if her fussing hadn’t bothered him, or if he was actually resting for once.
“I said get up.” Cooper kicked the foot of the bed as he headed toward the exit.
Lucy scrambled to stand, wearing only her tank top and underwear. “Hey, wait—where are you going?”
He turned back to her with an are-you-f*ckin’-kiddin’-me look. “I told you, they gave me a job. And I’m gonna be a good boy and do it, ‘cause I wanna get the hell out of here. So why don’t you get dressed and do your part to help out?”
“Well, what’s my job?”
“Don’t ask me.” He opened the door. A rush of morning light spilled into the cabin, turning Cooper into a silhouette.
Panic flitted through her. “But, wait—where do I go!?”
“You’ll figure it out. Darling.”
And then he was gone.
Lucy stood there with her arms hanging limply at her sides. She was mentally drained and physically exhausted—somehow both overtired and overslept. With Cooper gone and the door closed again, she peeped back at the bed. The bunched-up, dark gray comforter looked so inviting.
She glanced down at her half-naked body and huffed. There were parts of her dreams she remembered last night, and some of them were about sex. During her tossing and turning, she’d felt the familiar urge to touch herself to gain some relief; she hadn’t, of course, because that would be rude to do with someone unsuspecting there with her. But it was a good sign—it meant her biological functions were still intact. She really was becoming herself again.
Of course, it had been a long time since she’d even taken care of herself that way at all. Where was she supposed to do it? In the middle of an exposed wasteland? Surrounded by irradiated garbage and dead radroaches? When she’d showered yesterday, she’d been too occupied thinking about the whole coming back from the brink of death thing.
Sex with someone wasn’t an option either. The Monty situation had made her leery on who she might trust near her body. She’d tried with Maximus, but he hadn’t seemed to understand. While things in the vault weren’t perfect sex-wise either, at least she always had someone to help her deal with these things. Even if it was just Chet.
Frustration coiled through her. She could quickly get it over with, but if she laid back down, she couldn’t promise herself she wouldn’t fall into a blissful sleep after.
And Cooper was out there, trying to work off the debt she’d acquired.
Lucy grumbled and grabbed her vault suit, zipping it half-way up. She’d have to figure something out later. Until then, she had a moral obligation to pull her weight.
If only she knew where the heck to go.
***
While Lucy understood Cooper had done a lot for her—even if he was being a jerk about it now—she was still thoroughly annoyed with him as she trudged through the settlement’s street traffic, more lost than ever.
Why couldn’t he have just given her one hint on where to go?
Would she have to be dying for him to ever be nice to her again?
Probably.
Lucy turned off a busy street and onto a quieter one, lined by wooden shacks. Articles of clothing hung on strings drawn between decayed trees, fluttering in the wind. Some of the shacks even had gardens outside with real flowers in them—golden blooms that reminded her of the sun. This must’ve been where people actually lived. Lucy had to admit, it was homey. Maybe not what she’d imagined a rebuilt surface like when she was in the vault, but the people she passed by seemed a lot more content than she’d seen, well, anyone up here.
No one had told her settlements like this existed.
Up ahead, a man thumbed the pages of a newspaper as he sat in a rocking chair. He was probably only a few years older than her and looked approachable enough. Maybe it was a shot in the dark, but someone had to know what the heck she was supposed to be doing here.
She trotted right up to him. “Excuse me—hi.”
The man looked up, brown eyes apathetic, but not unkind.
“Is there someone in charge around here? Like an Over—” She cut herself off. People on the surface didn’t like vault talk. “Like a… person in charge?”
“That’d be our mayor, Cassandra.” He nodded to the large building in the center of the settlement. Back in the vault, Lucy had studied a lot about the old world, and that place looked like a museum. “You should find her office in there.”
Just then, a woman came out of the shack behind him. Her skin, a rough, reddish pink, contrasted with the yellow of her dress. A female ghoul—a non-feral one. Lucy watched as she gently tapped on the man’s shoulder and handed him a cup of something warm and herby-smelling. He smiled up at her, taking her hand as she draped her arm over his shoulder.
That was when they both noticed Lucy hadn’t walked away, and was definitely staring.
“Hello,” the lady said.
“Hi.” Lucy waved. She didn’t mean to gawk, but this had caught her totally off-guard.
Lucy didn’t know much about the physiology of ghouls. She knew they were people who’d been transformed by radiation—they seemed to live for a very long time and regenerate very quickly, assuming they had those vials to keep them from going feral—but aside from that, she didn’t know much. Were the changes mostly surface level? Did their organs remain intact? And what about the desires that usually come with being human? A desire to be touched—a sex drive? Did the radiation take that away too?
Cooper was the only ghoul she really knew, and he was, well, Cooper. The other one she’d met—Roger, the one Cooper had made ass jerky out of—had seemed very sweet. Then there were the ferals. She understood enough about them now.
“Are you two a couple?” she blurted.
The man glowered slightly, and Lucy worried she’d offended them. But the lady placed a hand on the man’s shoulder, and he relaxed.
“Yes, we are,” she said. “That might seem strange, and we understand that. It’s not very common to see two people like us together that way, and you look like you’re new around here.”
“No, it’s not strange, per se—I just didn’t know it was an option.” Oh, goodness—what was she saying? She was being very invasive and insensitive. “I mean—I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to draw unnecessary attention to you. That’s so rude of me.”
The lady’s eyes were soulful as she glanced over Lucy, no malice on her face at all. “You haven’t met many ghouls, have you?”
Lucy shook her head. “A few. My mother was turned into one, but she became feral. I’m traveling with one, but he’s… not like you. He’s mean. Well, he’s not always mean, but he doesn’t talk to me much.”
“If you’re curious about something, you can ask me. I don’t mind.”
The man gave her a look. “Flora…”
Flora. That was such a pretty name. Lucy smiled as Flora told her partner, “Roy, it’s all right. I don’t mind.” She turned to Lucy. “What do you want to know?”
“I’m curious how it works,” she said. “I mean, when you’re a couple. Is the goal to reproduce?”
Flora laughed and shook her head. “Oh, no, honey. Ghouls are sterile.”
“So you’re together for companionship. Love?”
Flora nodded. “Most things work the same. We just look different, and we age slower.”
“And I don’t want to bring more kids into this world,” Roy added. “Flora and I get to be together freely here. Usually, we don’t have people asking questions anymore.”
“I really wasn’t trying to offend you,” Lucy insisted. She gestured her thumbs toward herself. “Vault dweller here, as you can see. I’m still learning about the world up here.”
“I think we’d have a lot of questions for you too,” Flora said.
Lucy glanced back at the museum building. She wanted to keep talking to them, but the day was moving by and she still hadn’t even found out what her job was.
“I’m Lucy,” she said. “I have to go work—but let’s hang out sometime! I’ll tell you anything you want to know!”
Flora waved as Lucy scurried off. Lucy hoped she’d get the chance to talk to them again, because A) meeting some nice people was like a breath of fresh air, and B) through Flora, she’d learned a little bit more about Cooper.
***
Lucy was no stranger to the concept of an assigned role. Down in the vault, she’d had many: engineer, teacher, gardener. So when she met the Overseer—or mayor —of this place, she was pleased to learn they followed a similar system, but with more freedom of choice. Lucy had never minded a role being chosen for her, but it felt good when they asked where she thought she’d be strongest—engineering—and that was where they sent her.
She spent the next several hours in a warehouse with a team of nice people, trouble-shooting a problem they were having with one of their power generators. Although Lucy knew more about Vault-Tec technology than anything up here, she picked up on how things worked quickly, and even came up with a few probable solutions. None of them had checked out so far, but the day wasn’t over yet.
When the sun was at the highest point in the clear sky, Lucy was given a few caps out of her day’s wage and was told to break for lunch. She ventured off alone into the settlement’s market district and marveled at the array of shops and stalls there. She had enough caps to buy something substantial that would hopefully help regain some of her physical strength. As she scanned for a place to buy food, she caught sight of the settlement’s walls in the near distance.
Atop a guard tower was none other than Cooper with a gun in his hands, shifting from heel to heel like he was bored out of his mind, unaware of her eyes on him.
She observed him from afar. Cooper always acted like he was so tough, but there was a man with a heart in there. For some reason she didn’t understand, he’d wanted her to look at him like he was a monster, like he was another species.
But Flora, another ghoul like him, was in love.
They weren’t so different after all.
Maybe Cooper even wanted to be touched sometimes, the same way Lucy did.
The thought sent an uninvited flutter through her. Lucy traced the shape of him; with his hat and long jacket, he had as much of himself covered as he reasonably could, despite the day’s heat. She wondered what he’d looked like before. He was possibly very handsome once. She wasn’t sure if he’d turned over a new leaf, or maybe being his friend was just a vastly different experience than being his enemy—but he wasn’t a monster to her anymore. Not at all.
His voice sounded in her memory, as warm as a bonfire on the coldest night.
“You’re gonna be all right, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart. He had a lot of pet names for her, most of which he said to be an asshole. And they did tick her off. Especially Vaultie. But when she’d been sick, all those little names had rolled off his tongue like sugar. He’d been so gentle with her.
One lesson from the vault Lucy was certain rang true was that actions speak louder than words. He’d tried to make himself seem like a monster again last night, but even when he’d grabbed her hands like the big, scary man he was, he must not have noticed that he’d been far more delicate than he was when they’d first met. She hadn’t even minded the rough feeling of his palms on her skin. She hadn’t minded because she remembered how it felt when he was soothing her, rubbing her back as she was in some of the worst pain of her life.
But she was annoyed with him now too. When Lucy’s mind had started coming back to her, she’d had this hope that maybe things between them would be different from now on. Maybe, finally, they could be something like friends.
Yet as soon as he’d seemed to realize she wasn’t dying anymore, he’d put that mean, tough guy act on again. He built a darn fortress around himself and designed it to keep her out.
But Lucy knew Cooper had a heart.
If only she could get him to admit it.
***
Vaultie didn’t come back to the cabin that evening.
Even as the sun set and Cooper occupied himself by tossing a stick around for Dogmeat, she never came dragging her heels around the bend.
He didn’t give it much thought at first. Figured she was probably working late. But as the sky turned dark, his mind started to wander. Maybe she took off on him. Maybe she got sick again. Maybe she got herself in some kind of trouble—maybe she got trafficked. This community seemed safe and all, but every society had an underbelly. A pristine specimen such as herself would fetch a high price anywhere. When he’d tried to trade her before, he’d known he could’ve gotten a hell of a lot of caps if he’d sold her into some kind of sex trade, but he’d had tunnel vision for vials.
Besides, if he was being really honest with himself—as ruthless as he liked to think he was—he’d never go that far. Over two hundred years in the wasteland had mutated Cooper into something else, but he’d always be a man with a daughter. Organ harvesting was one thing. Selling a woman off to be used for her body by the nastiest men on the face of a planet was another.
Real standup guy, you are.
His own hypocrisy made him feel ill. They would've sliced into her while she was still alive; she would've felt all of it, and he didn't like the image of that whatsoever. Especially when he remembered the moment Lucy had come out of that Super Duper Mart and gave him vials even though he’d done nothing to earn even a lick of goodness from her. He’d already repaid that debt, and yet he still couldn’t get that moment out of his mind.
Eh. She was probably fine.
He tried sitting down and reading a newspaper he found. He tried eating the can of Cram he bought, feeding some to Dogmeat. He tried having a shower, because why be filthy if he didn’t have to be. He tried telling himself that if she got herself lost and hurt in here, it was her own damn fault and he’d done more than enough to ensure her survival. At some point, he was gonna have to let natural selection do its thing.
Oh, hell.
When the stars were out and the moon was hanging high, Cooper wandered into the settlement’s market district to look for her. It was lit up by an array of neon lights like an imitation of Hollywood Boulevard. The street traffic had calmed without the day traders wandering around, giving way to a peaceful night.
Some music crackled from a radio nearby—a tune he recognized, bringing back intrusive memories of a time when his face was on the silver screen. He ignored the bitter nostalgia and followed the sound till he reached a street where an old RV was carved out with a bar counter along it, illuminated by string lights.
And slumped over the bar with her vault suit-covered ass on a stool was none other than Lucy MacLean, holding a glass of something brown and boozy.
You have got to be f*cking kidding me.
As if she could smell him, she turned back with a smile plastered on her face.
“Cooper! There you are. C’mere!”
Lucy wasn’t alone—a couple was with her on the bar seats, an average Joe type and a lady ghoul in a dress. Cooper tried not to show how instantly pissed-off he was as he strolled over. Out here, the only way he found pleasure was in a few bottles of bootleg whiskey or a bucket of suspiciously-crafted chems, so he was the last person to make a moral grandstand on the effects of substance abuse. At the same time, stupid little Vaultie was still recovering from being sick. They had a debt to pay off, and here she was, wasting caps on something that would only shock her immune system and cause more delays. This wasn’t a f*cking vacation.
“Cooper,” Lucy slurred, “these are my friends, Roy and Flor—”
Cooper cut her off by placing a hand on her back, offering a grin to the couple. “Sorry to intrude, folks, but this one here is just getting over a very bad case of radiation blues, and should not be consuming beverages of the alcoholic variety.”
“No, no, it’s okay,” Lucy stammered, while the couple exchanged an uncomfortable look. “I”m fine, really!” she blubbered on. “I got a bit sleepy, but it’s okay now.”
“She’s actually only had three drinks,” the woman said. “With how fast she seemed to get drunk, we got a bit worried and didn’t want to leave her…”
“I’m okay!” Lucy said, standing. “Really!”
Cooper had to steady her to stop her from tipping over. “Have you ever even had a drink before tonight, Vaultie?”
“Well, this stuff is definitely stronger.” She let out a small hiccup.
Oh, boy. What a goddamn mess.
Cooper tipped his hat toward the couple. “You folks have a good night.”
With that, he put his hand on the small of Lucy’s back and gave her a gentle push, ushering her in the direction of their cabin. Although she couldn’t walk in much of a straight line, she dragged her feet to keep up with him. They wound up on a dark footpath that cut across town. At this hour, it was dead-quiet, and so was the vaultie.
Cooper figured it was only a matter of time before she messed that up.
“I knew you’d come looking for me.”
Cooper stopped in his tracks. Vaultie stared up at him, indignant and drunk, and swayed like a branch in the breeze. The motivations behind her little stunt tonight became crystal clear. He clicked his tongue in disbelief.
“Oh, so you’re that kind of gal, huh? You like playing games. Duly noted—I won’t fall for it again.”
He kept on walking. His blood boiled. As angry as he was at her, it was himself he was really pissed off at for marching right into her trap. He should’ve just stayed back at the cabin, slept in that bed for once, let her do her own goddamn thing, let her end up wherever fate was inclined to bring her.
But you were worried.
He did not want to admit that, even to himself.
Lucy chased after him, practically yapping at his heels. “You know what I learned? Ghouls like you can actually have relationships. Like, normal relationships that don’t involve violence or acting like a jerk all the time.”
“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, somebody call the Pope—she’s had a grand revelation.”
“You know, that girl back there, Flora—she’s a ghoul, and she’s actually nice.”
“Why’s that matter? You think all ghouls should all be nice ‘cause Flora’s nice? C’mon, you’re not that dense.”
“No, but you could learn something from her.”
“I’ll add it to my to-do list.”
Haughty, arrogant little thing. It was taking everything in him not to snap on her. Obviously, she was drunk and being a pest on purpose. He couldn’t get back to the cabin quick enough, where he hoped she’d pass out drunk and leave him the hell alone. He stormed inside, seeing red.
“I’m serious, you know.” Lucy followed him inside and shut the door so there was only moonlight. Cooper started taking off his gear, ignoring her. “I’ve seen you. I know what you’re capable of. You can be so good.”
“You just don’t stop yammering.”
“But you have to act like you’re this big, scary guy. Big, scary Cooper, right? Why? Why do you have to act like that?”
Cooper grabbed Lucy and slammed her into the wall to shut her up. Somehow, she ended up propped on the dresser so her legs were open and he was positioned right between them, his belt pressing against her vault suit. Her chest heaved as she glared at him, sweaty pieces of dark hair falling over her forehead. He held her forearms down so she couldn’t claw at him.
“What’s gotten into you, huh?” he asked, drilling his eyes into hers. “Why are you all mad at me all of a sudden?”
“I’m not mad at you—I want you to admit you won’t hurt me. I want you to admit I can trust you.”
He pressed down harder on her arms, pinning her like a butterfly. “Bet you’re rethinkin’ that now, aren’t you?”
“No, I’m not.” Her dark eyes blazed on his, so indignant and feral. “I’m not scared of you.”
“Is that so?”
He tightened his grip again. She arched her back. At first, he thought it was her way of trying to escape, but then his belt pressed deeper between her legs, like she was pushing down on him—making that happen. And it struck him that this position he’d put them in was far more intimate than it was menacing or whatever he’d been going for. Lucy’s gaze skated back and forth between his mouth and his eyes with some kind of ferocious passion. It reminded him of the way women used to look at him during a night of booze and sex, before the world got blown up, before he became this.
If he didn’t know any better, he’d swear he was turning her on.
No way in hell.
Nope, he’d read that wrong. She was just drunk and pissed off. Might not even remember this in the morning, so he was wasting his breath and his time.
So instead of indulging more in her drama, Cooper scooped her in his arms like she was nothing. She let out a tiny yelp, but barely protested as he tossed her right on the bed, causing it to spring beneath her.
“Go to sleep, Vaultie.”
She didn’t get up, just shot him another glower before she curled herself into the blanket and hid her face.
Cooper felt like he’d been played.
Like somehow, she got him to do exactly what she wanted.
